Friday, 13 September 2013


You know your depressed when you spend half the day dreading the other half.

Gays getting married will not destroy the meaning of marriage for heterosexuals, I think marriage will destroy the meaning of the word gay.

You know you're getting old when you stay with a woman the whole night because it's easier than getting out of bed.

Thursday, 12 September 2013


My girlfriend won't be seen in public with me anymore. Last week we were taking a walk and she got a ticket for violating the leash law.

What it takes to be a politician today is the ability to distinguish between what's wrong and wronger.

I'm at the age now where I fantasize about being able to live through my fantasies.

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Blow Up

I was thinking about sex and how much more energy I might have if I didn't have to blow the girl up.

I don't think that marriage should be forever. I don't believe in the death penalty.

I love the spring -- its beauty heightens and renews my fear of death.

Tuesday, 10 September 2013


Gays should be allowed to get married. But I'm not really for it because I think gay people have suffered enough pain already.

In love where size matters is in the heart.

I had traumatic childhood. My father used to wet my bed.

Monday, 9 September 2013


I'd like to be God, live forever and when I do horrible things have them explained as me just being mysterious.

I'm not sure how to take this. Yesterday I was asked to be a sexual surrogate for a female necrophiliac.

Texas is so homophobic it's the only place where the female impersonators are female.